


Glitches (as a metaphor for genji's emotional state and as a general psuedo-medical term for omnic illness)

by notzenyatta



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, Mutual Pining, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Sparring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-04-23
Packaged: 2018-10-22 19:49:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10703907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notzenyatta/pseuds/notzenyatta
Summary: Maybe its meditation, or maybe its just free-association in a slightly more relaxed and shock-free state than he has been in hours. Whatever it is, it takes him to the question he’s had all day right away.Why is he so worried?and better yet,Why didn’t Zenyatta tell him something was really wrong?





	Glitches (as a metaphor for genji's emotional state and as a general psuedo-medical term for omnic illness)

**Author's Note:**

> aint no sunshine on the psychic plane, darlin'? never heard of her sorry. take this shit instead.   
> characterize zenny 2K17 
> 
> warnings for? genji spying on mondatta for .3 seconds? a very brief mention of angela zeigler? ambiguious cryptid-ish protrayal of god ai? my depression?! another fucking stupid as hell title!!!?!??!?!

 

 

Alright, so Genji has witnessed more generally insane shit in his life than he ever even could have imagined, with being turned into a cybernetic weapon and working for an undercover semi-governmental agency, then joining a temple full of omnic monks in remote Nepal and all, but He’s not sure how he managed at all to survive all that if the scariest thing he’s seen in nearly a year is an omnic  _cough._

 

Its not like theres some sort of cosmetically terrifying change that overtakes omnics when they cough, and the noise isn’t even that strange either (it sounds like some deep rattling combined with a pathetic burst of vocal static), rather, Genji was; 1) unaware that omnics could cough, and 2), is now absolutely shaken into ultimate concern over the whole thing. 

 

Zenyatta merely looks unfazed, (Genji has gotten actually quite good at reading his unchanging features over the past year or so) and politely excuses himself, and returns to his meditation. Like, sure, its not a big deal. Which it isn’t, But Genji still finds his mind whirring in a panicked frenzy. 

 

What does it mean for an omnic to cough? is it a virus? Will it cause long-term effects? Where is it affecting? Will it get worse? Is it like a human cold? Genji keeps his eyes carefully glued to Zenyatta’s mediating body, alert and more worried than he really wants to ever admit to himself. Does it hurt him? Is he in pain?

 

“You are unfocused.”

 

Genji would jump if the reflexes hadn't been trained out of him at a young age, and if he wasn't so used to Zenyatta’s uncanny but nearly flattering ability to read him like a book. Or, as it’s Zenyatta, his ability to read him like the sky’s color referencing an incoming storm, or the slight change in the wind that makes him light up, as soon the native species’s young will be emerging into the world for the first time. 

 

“Forgive me.”

 

“Is it the coughing? It seems that I have developed a slight glitch in my cooling fans. I would remedy it if I could.”

 

“Is that what it is? I don’t know much about…”

 

Genji trails off, slightly embarrassed. Zenyatta picks up the dropped line effortlessly.

 

“I would not expect you to know about omnic illness, particularly because it’s mostly rare for us to develop, well, “glitches” that are similar to human illness.”

 

“Rare?”

 

Genji asks, desperately looking for answers to questions he’s not sure how to ask. He notices a shift in his friend’s posture.

 

“Are you concerned?”

 

Hit tone is light and teasing, but holds real weight. Genji shifts on the earth, soft with the promise of spring. Its the old dilemma. To answer a lie and keep his aloofness intact and not have to drag himself though the messiness of emotion, or to let himself fall pray to vulnerability and answer honestly, that yes, he is really, very concerned. Its something he abhors about himself. This glitch of his own that prevents him from accepting the help that it simultaneously creates a need for. 

 

“If you got sick who would spar with me?”

 

Zenyatta’s laugh is as warm and full as ever, and always just as comforting. 

 

“I am sure that you would effortlessly find another partner…”

 

Genji’s blood boils briefly for a moment,  _how can you say that? How can you render yourself so replaceable?_  But it stops when Zenyatta continues speaking,

 

“But perhaps we can spar now? Meditation is beyond me today.”

 

Genji agrees. 

 

-

 

“You are still worrying.”

 

Genji barley side-steps a vicious volley of orbs and draws his blade, aiming to defend rather than attack, then realized that he’s literally just confirmed Zenyatta’s suspicions. 

 

“Maybe I’m bored!”

 

His blade almost doesn’t survive the orb it takes next, and a sickening cracking noise the collision of their weapons make shakes him.

 

“I expect an attack. Once again, you underestimate me.”

 

Zenyatta knows Genji is worried about his health, but won’t say it outright. Genji knows that he does tend to underestimate the frail-looking omnic but also is acutely aware of how Zenyatta is taking advantage of Genji’s offensiveness to lessen his usual erratic movements, and how his strikes hold less power than they usually might. He’s conserving energy, and although he’s nowhere near struggling, Genji notices it. Maybe if he can just get Zenyatta on his back as soon as possible he’ll be convinced to rest. 

 

He lunges forward, turning his blade in his hand and aims a strike that pushes Zenyatta back a few feet before unleashing three shuriken. Zenyatta has to roll to avoid them, then hurls an orb of discord to whirl around Genji’s head like a stupidly contrary halo. He ignores it’s effects to the best of his ability and charges forward again, unleashing three more shrunken that Zenyatta has to shield himself from with rapid spinning of his orbs. Genji doesn’t think, just strikes and feels the satisfactory weight roll off his blade as his teacher is toppled. 

 

Before Genji can totally  register what’s happened, Zenyatta is rushing back at him, orbs in a terrifying halo around his shoulders, and launches a volley that Genji could have deflected easily, but instead dives to the ground to dodge. As he rolls back up to stand he hears something he had never heard before- a noise of  _frustration_  coming from his friend. He looks up, hears rather than sees the third destructive volley whirring towards him, and rolls to evade it again. He and Zenyatta both know that the younger’s technique is becoming exponentially clumsier by the second, but he's too stubborn to stop and still too powerful for Genji to easily overtake him. 

 

The most Genji can do is wait for him to tire himself out… but then what? Zenyatta is acting less composed than Genji has ever seen him in their time as friends, and he’s honestly terrified. The next three orbs are harder to dodge, Genji ends up deflecting one off towards the gardens to their left and allowing another to graze his shoulder. How will things change between them after he’s seen his friend this vulnerable?

 

Across the courtyard of the monastery where the fight is taking place, Genji can see Zenyatta gather as much energy as he can for his next attack, and Genji reacts on instinct, raising his blade to deflect. 

 

Three of the orbs crash back into Zenyatta, sending him practically hurling to the ground, where they momentarily join the others in a jolting elevated circle, weak and unstable without the omnic’s energy to keep them totally afloat. Genji is by his side before Zenyatta can try to stand, kneeling on the stone of the courtyard, trying to assist him, heart thudding in his throat from the fight, but also from the state of his friend. Zenyatta tried to push himself up but Genji firmly holds him down, hands unyielding against his shoulders. 

 

“Just stay down-“

 

“I’m Fine, Genji-“

 

Zenyatta says, then promptly launches into a “coughing” fit that sends Genji into a state of panic. Before Genji can do anything, a flock of monks in sun-orange robes gather towards them, concerned and worried for the smallest omnic and Genji is pushed away despite his protests, pushed aside when they carry Zenyatta inside, and told that he cannot enter the infirmary when he arrives at the door, upset and steaming. He runs back outside in a brilliant dash of angry green light, through the forest, and begins to blindly hack at the trees and new growth there until his panic subsides, and he collapses to the ground, exhausted and worried. 

 

Logical thought doesn’t come back to him until the dappling of forest shadow begins to grow long and the light casts against his face in the faded color of Zenyatta’s robes. Genji lies back against the ground and lets himself think. Maybe its meditation, or maybe its just free-association in a slightly more relaxed and shock-free state than he has been in hours. Whatever it is, it takes him to the question he’s had all day right away.

 

Why is he so worried?

 

and better yet,

 

Why didn’t Zenyatta tell him something was really wrong?

 

The answer to the first question is simply shaped, but wrapped in a layer of mystery like an american christmas gift. Genji is worried because Zenyatta is one of the few things keeping him going at this point. Without their lessons, meditation sessions, existential conversations, and sparring matches, Genji has nothing to fill the long days and incessant wandering of his fitful mind. Without Zenyatta there is no one to subtly and non-condescendingly coax him back to reality during a panic attack, and no one to lay a gentle hand on his shoulder when Genji is close to his breaking point, and no one for Genji to wish would touch him  _more_. Genji would survive without him, of course, but he would loose the first step to completeness he’s taken in years. He would loose his best friend, and someone who he  _loves_. And despite all the logical reasoning he can place behind his fear of loosing Zenyatta, he doesn’t want to, because its all empty without the underlying affection he has for his friend. That is the clarity. The layer of confusion is something he doesn’t want to get into at this moment, but it involves the way in which is loves his friend. Somewhere between a strong plutonic bond and a cheese romantic relationship lies Genji’s confused feelings, and its just not something he’s ready to confront yet. 

 

Its something thats not supposed to have happened, also. Zenyatta is his teacher, and his best friend. Romantic feelings for him are disgusting. Impure. A mistake. As jarring and unnatural as Zenyatta’s rattling cough during meditation.

 

A glitch. 

 

Genji rolls onto his side and watches a beetle skitter across the decaying leaves of the forest floor. It’s not like Zenyatta to keep something from him. The omnic had been nothing but upfront with him since their first meeting, and it was one of the reasons Genji felt like he could disclose to him in the first place. Many of the other monks tended to be aloof, and rather chose to put on the facade that their negative emotions did not exist through a combination of spiritual enlightenment and inner peace, than to simply admit that they were hiding them. Zenyatta rarely let any negative emotions get the better of him, but he was always upfront when he was having them. But why wouldn’t he admit that he needed rest? Why would he pretend that he wasn't really sick?

 

Genji rolls back onto his back, then into a sitting position. He unclips his visor and breathes in the cooling air that holds the musty promise of rain. 

 

Hopefully theres an open window into the infirmary. 

 

-

 

When Genji drops into the infirmary as silently as he is able through the mercifully open window, he is distracted by the actual room momentarily. He has never actually been in the infirmary before. This is partially because it only usually stocks supplies to care for omnics and humans, and is not properly equipped to care for cyborgs. Mostly, however, he hasn’t visited it because of his understandable disdain for hospitals and medical professionals. For the first few months he had spent at the monetary he would hole himself up in his room for a day or two when he encountered any injury or illness and hope for his diagnostics and enhanced healing processes to take care of it. That stopped when at one point Zenyatta had become overwhelmingly worried and had burst into his room when Genji hadn’t responded to his knocking to find the cyborg curled in on himself, unconscious, and suffering from the worst fever he’d ever had. From that point on, Zenyatta had made Genji  _promise_  to him that he would go to him if he was sick or injured, and so far it’s been a pretty good compromise. That being said, usually the duo doesn’t bargain on Zenyatta being the one to become ill.

 

Genji, lights dimmed, looks around and notices first that there are very few beds in the infirmary. This is understandable, considering that omnics don’t need to lie down to sleep, and many find it uncomfortable. It’s in their programming to “take up less space”, as it were. Zenyatta has always been somewhat unusual, and prefers to sleep in a bed. He then notices that the room is actually quite beautiful and un-hopsital like, housing large narrow windows that filter in silver moonlight, and a roomy, vaulted ceiling. Its much unlike Angela’s medical wing with it’s migraine-inducing fluorescent lights, teal sheets, and sharp scent of anesthetic. This room still smells of the mountain air, and although there is a faint smell of disinfectant it lingers among the smell of herbal medicine that the monetary keeps in stock for any human residents, or those passing by. 

 

The bed tucked against the far right of the room catches Genji’s eye, as a curtain is only partially pulled around it and he can make out a figure tucked beneath the sheets. Besides that, the room is empty. He silently makes his way over, letting his lights come up a little. Tucking behind the curtain so he can kneel next to the bed, he places his hand gently on the shoulder of the figure only to find, startlingly, that it isn’t Zenyatta. Instead, he realizes, it’s a few spare blankets and pillows shoved convincingly under the sheets, and Genji is now very worried because he is now aware of why the window would be open, and exactly what could happen to a sick omnic who foolishly decided to sneak out of the medical wing, although, Genji supposes that is hypocritical of him to think, considering the many times he had momentarily escaped from the overwatch medical wing in various states of cybernetic construction during his time there. 

 

He swiftly flees the way he had come and starts his search, starting with the window into Zenyatta’s room. Open, but the room is empty. The balcony where they usually meditate is empty too, and in Genji’s bravery, or foolishness, he peers into Mondatta’s room to find only the leader of the Shambali asleep there. But no Zenyatta. Genji investigates the courtyard, the forest, and the gardens, and is beginning to consider waking the rest of the monks in his worry, and actually is entering the monetary again using the window into his own room when he is startled by the very subject of his search curled up on his futon. He feels the anxiety of a long day unfurl from his chest like steam from his shoulders, and sits on the edge of the bed, nudging his teacher gently to rouse him. 

 

Right after he does this, Genji becomes aware that maybe Zenyatta really needs to rest, if he has fallen asleep here of all places but its too late, He stirs, and the lights on his forehead slowly become brighter as he starts to shift, uncurling from his near-fetal position. 

 

“Hey, You can go back to sleep if you want.”

 

Genji says, rubbing a hand down Zenyatta’s arm. The omnic notices him, and Genji hears the telltale clicking in his chassis that signifies him ordering his thoughts. 

 

“Genji?”

 

His voice is only a little staticky from sleep, and he stretches a little as he moves up on his elbows. Genji wants to believe he is paying less attention to every detail of his waking-up process that he actually is.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

“This is my room.”

 

Genji offers, amused at the omnics obvious confusion. Then again, He’s not sure what Zenyatta is doing in his room in the first place. Its not the first time he’s been in it, and its not even the first time he’s been in his bed-well, meaning that he’s sat on it before or something, but never slept in it. Zenyatta looks around, somewhat startled.

 

“How long…How did I get here?”

 

“You probably know better than I do, I’ve been looking for you all night. Sneaking out of the infirmary? Am I a bad influence on you, Master?”

 

Genji’s tone is playful but he keeps a reassuring hand on Zenyatta’s shoulder, hoping that the omnic isn’t worse than he was when Genji last saw him. Also hoping that he’s not overstepping any boundaries about person space, but thats never seemed to be an issue on Zenyatta’s part (and Genji wishes that he could express how much their limited physical contact means to him without getting into that old, messy, glitchy emotional place that he prefers to avoid.) 

 

“I wanted to… I had something to tell you.”

 

Zenyatta sits up all the way and looks out the open window, like an answer lies in the subtle light cast by the moon. Introspection on his part isn’t unusual, and neither is his disorientation upon waking. But Genji is still a little worried. 

 

“Zenyatta… Why wouldn’t they let me go into the infirmary? Is something really wrong?”

 

Zenyatta looks at him suddenly, like its startling for Genji to ask such an obvious question.

 

“Oh, goodness no, I’m perfectly fine. My brothers tend to… overreact. Do you know what a God AI infection is, Genji?”

 

Not exactly reassuring.

 

“Of course I do! Holy shit, you aren’t saying that you have one are you?”

 

“No! No, of course not. They were worried that I might, but they ran so diagnostics and I do not. It is simply a glitch in my cooling fan, as I suspected. They wanted me to stay in the infirmary to give it time to resolve itself.”

 

Genji sighs, glad that his friend is making a little more sense after being awake for a few minutes and glad that theres nothing seriously wrong with him. 

 

“You know… You can tell me when you’re sick or something, master.”

 

Zenyatta seems to deflate a little, then puts a hand over Genji’s. Genji tries not to think about it too much.

 

“I know. please forgive me, Genji. I thought… I suppose I wanted to be there for you more than I wanted to acknowledge my minor aliments. I noticed that you seemed to be slightly more restless than usual over the past weeks- none of this is your fault, my student.”

 

He adds, seeing Genji begin to object, tightening his grip on Genji’s hand reassuringly. 

 

“It was my own foolishness that got me into this situation and caused problems for you by extension, and for that I am sorry.”

 

“I forgive you, of course.”

 

Genji says, and gives Zenyatta’s hand a gentle squeeze because it feels  _right_ , and it also feels right when he pulls him into an embrace only a second later and the omnic relaxes right into it, arms gently circling Genji’s back.

 

“ _Please_  try to get some rest, alright? You can use my bed, I can go to yours if that’s okay-“

 

“Will you stay?”

 

Genji falters, then notices how Zenyatta stiffens in his arms like he deeply regrets saying it. Genji blames the request on whatever aliment he’s experiencing, but doesn’t deny the way his heart beats faster.

 

“Yeah, just move over a bit… There, we’ll fit.”

 

His tone is as light and casual as he can make it, although his nervous pulse almost drowns out his words. Zenyatta looks nothing burt relieved as he shifts himself back against the mattress, curling his body inwards like a cat. Genji draws his blankets over them, grateful that there are two pillows (of course he would not mind sharing at all, but he’s not sure what reservations Zenyatta may have) and then hesitates before completing the last step in his nightly routine. 

 

Theres no way he’s sleeping with his visor on. He reaches up to unhinge it, nervousness compounding-

 

“If you’re not okay with this you don’t have to-“

 

“I’m alright, master. Don’t worry about me.”

 

Genji places his mask on the floor, and the way Zenyatta tilts his head as if in a smile is not lost on him.

 

If Genji’s feelings are something of a glitch, something that wasn't supposed to happen or that there is no place for after all, he’s less scared of them now. If Zenyatta believes that his “cough” is nothing more than the natural progression of his systems, and as expected and harmless as a human’s allergies brought on by the emergence of spring, then, Genji thinks, 

 

Then maybe he can welcome glitches. 

**Author's Note:**

> yippie ki ay when will i write another good thing. You all loved chuck a hunk o wood fuckin whatever and i still haven't been to write something I'm as proud of as that ugh.   
> maybe this one is good because i gave it a stupidly long title  
> yeah let me know what u think , tbh i personally was prefer short drabbles as opposed to long complicated fics that ever get finished . but basically;  
> i really only wanna work on aint no sunshine when i feel like i actually Want to because other wise its so forced and i hate it u know? but thats the ish. 
> 
> lemmme know what genres u want me to try to write! because i don't wanna get into a rutt of hurt/comfort/mutual pining/ambigious sickfic because then what am i but a rasin of a man. 
> 
> do you ever want to sit down and write something thats like as descriptive and detailed as porn but its just, about cuddling. sounds shitty but I'm Always Touch Starved 
> 
> also happy earth day remember to think about your impact on the planet EVERY DAY ! use less water turn off your lights buy local and remember to vote in ur local govt elections to stop letting these anti-science monsters into office


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